Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
