mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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