I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
