So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just found puke in my bra..
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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