You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
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She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
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Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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