He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize