I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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