well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
