is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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