I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
