i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
