I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
