There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
