My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
