To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Randomize
