im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
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I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
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Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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