I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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