at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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