Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
