Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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