when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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