you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
