RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize