Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
