remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
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I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize