oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize