i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
