This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
