Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
