I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
