you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
