I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
