It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
