Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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