He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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