Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
