Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
