Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Congratulations! We have a period
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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