I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
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do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
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You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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