Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
