I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
