Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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