Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
