Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
