some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
