I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
