You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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