Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize