i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Randomize
