You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
