You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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