dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
