Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
