She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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