Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
