So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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