my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
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Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
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I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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