You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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