Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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