I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize