I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
