It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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