Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
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