If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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