doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
