ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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