This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
