Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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