also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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